A Dixie Carpetbagger

I’ll be short, sweet, and to the point.*  Tuesday night was a spanking– the Dems got themselves taken to the woodshed and beaten for a bit.  Then they went back in the house and Momma took the fly-flap to their bottoms.  Now they’re in their room, whining and crying about how unfair it is, and how Mama and Papa are just so cruel and unfair.  Keep this up, Junior, and you’ll get more of the same…

Now, for a few of the things I’ve seen here and there that make me giggle.  From MacBourne:

From iOwntheWorld, a visual representation of what just happened.  (If you don’t catch that drift, Kevin can clarify.)

From Lagniappe’s Guy: “Oh–and Rubio will be the next Senator from Florida. Nice. Suck on that, Crist.”  You know, if I were Rubio, I’d be in the Governor’s Mansion right now, blowing cigar smoke in Suntan Boy’s face while yelling: “SAY IT!  SAY MY TITLE!  SAY IT!”  But then, I’m just cruel like that– heck, I’d love to escort Charlie out of this state… I just need 7 more guys and a railroad tie to do it…

Then, from Miguel: “… with the inevitable “I am moving out of here” for good measure (And they never move, damn it!)”  No, they never do move… like human-sized ticks, they just burrow in deeper, draining blood the entire time.

On a side note, this is an anniversary of sorts for me.  Two years ago today, I walked into a gun store and purchased my Springfield XD.  (No CCW permit, so I went back and brought it home the next Friday.)  It’s been a fun two years– I’ve added plenty of company to the gun cabinet, and I’ve went from RINO to radical libertarian.  Oh, yeah, and I blog now, too.  Sometimes.

Now, i just have to get used to saying “Senator Rubio.”  (Lights cigar)

*Yeah, you thought I was to the point before?  Well, that presentation I was talking about?  Turns out we went 20:59, not 19:59– the professor gave our female teammate a minute.  Seeing as we got not question and answer time, our “A+” presentation was graded “B+.”  So, to keep us from being docked a letter grade the next time, and to please the mademoiselle, I’m working on being as quick as possible.  (Wait, that sounded wrong…)

405 years ago today, Guy Fawkes was arrested in the basement of the House of Lords.  To date, he has been the only man to enter Parliament with honest intentions.

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And, of course, what better way to celebrate than to watch a movie and set off some gunpowder?

Polls close in this part of Florida at 7 PM.

I’d been saving news stories for a while, looking to make a massive, epic, Kevin-Baker-style post on the election… but I really don’t have the energy.  I know that it’s going to be a good election for the conservative/libertarian/get-the-hell-off-my-back side, but exactly how much treachery is the Left going to pull?  I know more than a few leftists who have given up and stayed home because of (insert your fave here– “Rethuglikkan triks!”  “partisan circus mentality” “OMG GEROJ BUSH!”)… will it be enough to make this a truly epic landslide?

So, for now, I’m just sipping coffee and watching these four sites:

Real Clear Politics House –  Real Clear Politics Senate — Real Clear Politics Governor Races — Florida Election Watch

No parties for me… but I did dress myself up as a reclusive and busy college student.  (Man, I pull this costume off so well… almost like I do it every day!  *chuckle*) 

NFO (1) has the safety rules, some of which are actually pretty sensible.  Like Number 14: “Hawt chicks are like canaries. Always keep a few around when you visit Bad Place. They’ll die first.”  Follow this rule, and not only will you have an early warning system in place (remember, women ALWAYS scream when mortally wounded), you’ll have eye candy company around all the time!  (Also, this would make a great way for sororities to make extra money AND get rid of annoying pledges at the same time…)  Number 25 is good too, but it’d hurt your seller rating… “F-, would not buy again, now have zombie infestation in neighborhood.”

There’s a new series (The Walking Dead) on AMC starting tonight that I’m recording (I’ll watch it Tuesday, busy now) that look good, and it gets back to zombie basics.  (2)  I wanted to watch Zombieland tonight, but it’s looking like a no-go… Business exam tomorrow, and the professor likes to pull odd questions from the text.

Have a safe night, everyone, and remember– if that werewolf in the corner looks a bit too real… shoot first, ask questions later.  (Kidding, kidding!  … kinda.)

(1) Via Jay,  (2) Via Uncle

(Original here.)

1)  Yeah, I get that look, sometimes.  But as I always say– if you aren’t already prepared for it, it’s too late to prepare for it…

2)  Paging Larry Correia, Mr. Correia, please pick up the white courtesy phone…

In three years, have a view count of more than 250,000.  I have to beat Linoge, don’t ya’ know?

Let’s compare private enterprise to government monopolies for a bit.  As examples, I’ll choose my favorite gun broker versus the USPS.

My gun broker is available at pretty much any time I need him (I usually just call him or email him, have him order something, and then go pick it up), friendly (hell, first time I walked in his shop, it took him all of 15 seconds to offer me a beer), and knowledgeable.  In addition to all this, he’s competitive– I’ve yet to see him beat in response time or price.

The USPS has, in the past twelve months: lost mail, damaged mail, delivered my mail (including university documents) to my neighbors, delivered my neighbor’s mail (including legal documents) to me, unleashed a delivery driver that can’t seem to figure out if she’s playing Crazy Taxi or Vigilante 8, and slammed the entry door to the local post office… in my face… at 4:27 (by their clock)… twice.  Oh, yeah, and their boss just announced his retirement… via e-mail.

Hmm… one of these lost money last year, and one didn’t… I can’t figure out which is which, though…

Scene: gun store interior, three men visible.  Two are behind the counter, working on rifles, while one is poring over the holster rack directly opposite.

Gun Dude 1: Wow, we have a Norinco AND a Polytech in stock!

Gun Dude 2: You should buy both of them, add to your dream gun collection.

GD1: (Snort) I don’t want the original, much less Asian knockoffs.

GD2: Well, you could always build a semi-auto .45-70, take it bear hunting…  (chuckles)

GD1: If I go bear hunting, I want something more substantial than a .45-70.

GD2: Like a Tomahawk cruise missile?

GD1: Yeah.

(Conversation turns to a female customer who hunts grizzlies in Alaska with a .300 Win Mag.)

GD2: Yeah, I think a .300 Win Mag is about the bear minimum…

Dixie: (Groans, puts face in hands.)

GD2: Hey, I had to do it.

GD1: Man, my kids would’ve loved that one…

And yes, I did pick up a new holster.  Add in the new camera I just got in, and I’ll finally be able to complete the task I’ve been tagged to do since… 19 July.

Yesterday morning, I had to go in early (oh so very early) so that my team and I could finish up the prep work for our presentation.  (Propose and do the paperwork for a business in the area, project your market, and do estimated pro-formas for your first year.)   I left the house so early, in fact, that even the fast food joints were closed, and there was no coffee left in the coffeepot when I left the house, so… hundred mile drive with no java.  Cue Cranky Dixie transitioning into Utter Asshole Dixie.

Then something happened.  One of the local radio stations starts the day by having a schoolkid recite the Pledge, and then playing The Star Spangled Banner.  On the very first note of the anthem, the Sun broke through the clouds and began the day.  Cranky Dixie quickly became Decently Pleasant Dixie, and the day became okay.

Still, we had three and a half hours to ready ourselves for a presentation and the (guaranteed) grilling from our professor.  One member had been in Orlando for the weekend (and we hadn’t gotten in touch with her), one had to make a side trip, so I and the two other guys in the group madly dashed through the prep work, got PowerPoint ready, and went over our talking points.  The rest of the group got there, we finished everything up, caught up on the weekend happenings, and rushed over to our class.

Professor, we who are about to fail salute thee!

You get 20 minutes, total.  Our group ran 19:59– no questions for us, which seemed to upset our prof… or so the evil glance he gave us as he walked out of class would say.  (Also, he’s got a poker face to be proud of– he was totally impassive– while he was watching the presentation.  “… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.”)  So, hopefully he was just upset at us not opening up our soft underbellies…

Side note: this group is essentially The Libertarian Group.  Our first idea for a business was essentially Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms… with the possibility of adding Sex, Drugs, and Rock n’ Roll to the mix.  (We actually went with a burger joint catering to college students.  Much easier, much less likely to get us run out of class.)  However, even we draw the line at what happened to our female team-mate this weekend– she drove some friends to (and from) Orlando on a Universal Studios trip, for which they repaid her by letting her stay in the car while they went to a strip club.  Guys, be gentlemen– share the driving, pay for the gas, and don’t take her to a gorram strip club…

On top of all the stuff I’m having to deal with– teachers who think communication is a dirty word, slacking team-mates on class projects, and commuting to and from class… my electronics have rebelled on me.  Last week, my DVR crapped out on me, and yesterday the PC decided to come down with the digital Ebola.

8 hours later, it was working perfectly, but I was a day behind.  Now, I’m trying to wrangle team-mates (look, the reason we have a discussion board is for us to discuss stuff there… why are you emailing me this?), homework (okay, you’re asking me to do X, and you haven’t taught me to do X yet…) and a few other things… (seriously, I don’t disturb my neighbors, so why the frak are they driving 4 wheelers in circles around my house?)

Part of me wants to write so badly.  We have so many things coming up that are so monumental– the elections, news items, just the way the world is– but when I find the time, I find that my attitude is more “ARGH ANGRY HATE-HATE RAGE” than “Yes, well, let’s discuss this bit of news, shall we?”  Hopefully, I can clear my plate a bit (ha, ha, ha-ha, hah-ha-ha-ha-ha), and write some of my usual drivel soon.