A while back, I posted a link to the Benny Hillifier. I’m going to prove– beyond a shadow of a doubt– that Benny Hill makes anything funnier.
Start the video and wait a few seconds. Okay, now go take a look at these hunters running from a bear. I rest my case.
I’m still wondering… between Picture #4 and Picture #5, the guy had to turn around with a bear right behind him… how did he do it?
I’m a cat person. I love nothing more than to sit in the shade with a good book and a cat sitting in my lap, buzzing away in contentment. That being said, they’re crazy. At one point in time, I had two brothers– one would play in the rain, the other wouldn’t drink water from his dish if it was deeper than 1/2″. (Bathing him was fun…) I also had a cat who stared down a rattlesnake one time… and for the rest of her days, she walked in constant Condition Red. (Step, look side to side, step, look side to side, step…)
Now, for added humor factor, videos and stuff:
Via Weer’d:
Via Whitebread:
Via MacBourne: shaving your kitty.
Everybody hates rats– they spread disease, chew things that don’t like being chewed on, and generally try to invade any space humans improve above the level of a cave. They’re ugly, destructive, and dangerous. On the other hand, many people like squirrels. Even though squirrels spread disease, chew things… wait, they’re just as bad as rats. But they’re cute and popular.
Thought exercise– two neighbors, in side by side houses, have rodent problems. Neighbor A has a rat in his house, and Neighbor B has a squirrel in his attic. How do they handle these problems? Neighbor A will put out some traps to kill the rat, and Neighbor B will live-trap the squirrel and make the rodent someone else’s problem. What would the reaction in the neighborhood be if Neighbor A live-trapped his rat and set it loose in the woods behind the school and Neighbor B used a nice trap like this for Mr. Tree Rat?
I’m guessing somewhere between “cold shoulder” and “torches and pitchforks.”
Now, why bring this up? Because we have the same set of biases going on at a national level– we just got rid of a rat (Bush), but everyone still wants to feed the squirrel (Obama), even after he’s chewed the house’s wiring to crap. A rodent’s a rodent, and a totalitarian is a totalitarian.
On Mother’s Day, I treated my mother to a good meal, some good conversation and an afternoon of picking blueberries* that ended with me being able to display my pistolcraft. You see, I felled one of her mortal enemies– a cottontail rabbit– from 20 yards with a single shot. Draw, aim, front sight, press… and the raider of the garden was dead.
Meanwhile, the Defenders of the People’s Republic of Kalifornia can’t put down a deer at 5 paces without emptying a mag:
Oh, and the animal control officers there “were not trained to use the specialized [tranquilizer] guns.” Man, good thing we train our public servants, right? Imagine if we let mere mortals have these tools! [/ Sarcasm off]
I feel sad for the deer– not a single critical hit, and it couldn’t even lay down and die in peace.
*Elliott’s and Scrub Blueberries, not the Rabbiteye type. Rabbiteye berries are the most tasteless rip-offs I’ve ever seen.
(H/T Uncle)
Mmm, bacon. Via Tam, who wants to try her hand at it. I’m just glad that I don’t have to deal with porkers around here. (“No wild boar around here,” said I. “That’s good…” said the neighbor. “Yep, the panthers, bears and bobcats take care of them,” said I.)
Pig hunting has three simple rules. One, bring enough gun. Two, bring enough people. Three, keep a tree in sight.
You don’t have to outrun the pig… just the slowest guy you’re hunting with…
“What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?”
I don’t know, but I think we’re about to find out. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go pop some popcorn… hold my seat, I really don’t wanna miss this fight.
Not only am I hungry, but I’m about to leave, and go find a restaurant to sit down in, so a post by Weer’d got me all watery-mouthed.
Seafood-
I’m not in flyover country… I live in an area with fish farms and the coast, so I can get fresh fish almost year round. There are very few fish that I won’t eat (I’ve eaten shad before), but I do have favorites. Catfish (oh, that’s a surprise, a Southerner liking catfish), including channel cats, bullhead, and flatheads. Warmouth and bream are good eating, and a good catch, too… a small sub-pound warmouth can put up quite a fight, and I’ve seen both fish thrive in very shallow water.
Mullet is excellent eating, but you have to hunt for them… literally. They’re herbivores, and are the whitetail deer of the fish world– ambush is the name of the game. One guy in the back of the boat, oars out and gently changing direction as you drift, and one guy in the bow with the net.
Red Snapper– great when you can get it, but amberjack or grouper will do in a pinch (in Florida, grouper and snapper are almost totally commercial fish, due to our wildlife service). Flounder are great, but tilapia are the best. I’m not really a fan of crab or oysters, so, no info here. (chuckle)
To a city slicker, a rabid bobcat would be a problem; to a rugged Arizonan frontiersman, it’s an opportunity. Bravo, good sir. Not exactly the easiest (or wisest) way to handle a rabid predator… but better than just letting it roam free, able to infect other animals.
(H/T Firearms and Freedom)
“Something uttered a deep throated growl at me. A warning. This was not some cute woodland creature from a television cartoon. The stench of something primordial was in the air, more than blood, less than my suddenly dry mouth, and I knew that I had somehow in that moment slipped a rung on the food chain.”
- Brigid
Been there– nothing stirs the old blood like realizing that something large, furry and ill-tempered stands between you and home. My equipment shed stands about 100 yards from my house, on the northern face of a hill. In the winter time, it gets dark quickly in the little grove of trees that surround the shed. More than once I’ve been working on a mower or tractor at night and looked out the shed door to see multiple pairs of eyes. Not the low to the ground eyes that signal a rabbit or armadillo, but the eyes that signal a coyote. Needless to say, this provided a great incentive to quit working on equipment at night.
In addition to the coyotes (two groups, about 6-8 members in each), my area is home to at least two bobcats (possibly three, I think it’s two males with bordering territory and a younger female), a group of red wolves (less than a half dozen members), a pair of red foxes, a pair of gray foxes, and the kicker– a pair of Florida panthers. Nothing says “stay inside the rest of the week” like hearing the scream of a female panther looking for a mate.
Why not? The meat is fresher, more economical (and environmentally friendly,) is steroid and hormone free (well, besides the natural stuff,) and doesn’t contribute to the inhumane treatment of animals on factory farms.
That is, if you can hit the bloody things. As the old fighter pilot joke goes, “they’re called missiles because that’s what they do…” It’s called hunting for a reason. You go hunting for an animal, and if all goes well, you get a shot. Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you go several trips into the woods without a shot, or even seeing an animal.
And if you’re very, very lucky, buck fever doesn’t set in. What’s that? Buck fever’s a myth, you say? Oh, I thought so too– until I had my first deer in my sights. Then my heart took off like a sprinter, my glasses fogged up, and my hands began quivering. I missed. I still get ribbed for that by my friends.
You also create memories. I have fond memories of hunting with my papa, including the few times we went deer hunting. (Like me, he was a sap for animals, and only hunted when he had to, or if the animals began to overpopulate.) I also remember him missing a beautiful eight point buck– twice– on frosty November morning. (Also like me, he fell for the buck fever.)
It’s not hard to get into, either. Most states have public lands, and a good shotgun for deer is affordable (if you don’t have one already, as the home defense shotgun most gun owners have is a perfectly good deer gun.) The basics can be learned from listening to older hunters (and asking questions,) and quite a few hunters are willing to teach neophytes.
Hey, try it, you might like it. Cuts down on the grocery bill, too.
