A Dixie Carpetbagger

My family came from a diverse set of places on this Earth– if I were to turn over enough stones, I could claim relatives from Scandinavia, Mongolia, the river valleys of Germany, the mountain slopes in Northern Ireland, and the highlands of Scotland.  I do claim these relatives, and I claim their legacy… and their legacy was a search, a struggle to find a free land.

I am an American.  Why would I wear the oppression my ancestors bore as part of my identity?  Should I wear the scars my German ancestors gained from the Romans?  Or perhaps the ones gained by my Irish ancestors under the care of the British?  Or should I simply leave off all hyphens, prefixes and suffixes and say that I’m from here?

(H/T I Own The World)

Weer’d's wife will be going into surgery sometime tomorrow– give her your prayers and thoughts.

The reason I’ve had a time getting posts up is that the Fall semester has started– and for the first time in… a long time, I have more than one physical class.  And, since my new educational institution doesn’t have the same common sense the old one did*, I’ve been on negative time.

*My old college was set up with a commons surrounded by a large group of class buildings, with parking lots surrounding all these, a ring road feeding the parking lots, then auxiliary buildings around the outside of the ring road.  The new one is a hodgepodge of lots, a trolley system that makes no sense (wait, there’s no trolley stop anywhere near Building XYZ, why is that lot restricted to Resident only?), and a sheer mass of red tape.

29 August 2005– Hurricane Katrina makes landfall as a Category 3 hurricane near Buras-Triumph, Louisiana.  Death totals in coastal areas of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama are lower than expected, for two reasons.  One, Katrina came ashore as a Category (Cat) 3 storm with sustained winds of 125 miles and hour, not a Cat 5 with 175 mph winds.*  Two, the local Weather Forecast Office of the National Weather Service issued this bulletin the day before.  When a weather bulletin contains words such as “devastating,” “most powerful,” and “will make human suffering incredible by modern standards,” it’s advisable for those in the path of said storm to get the blazes away from the damned thing.

I remember Katrina because I was, indeed, getting the blazes away from said storm– in the form of going to Lakeland for an engineer’s seminar.  One of the other groups was from Pensacola, and they were getting reports that even that far away, the storm was doing some decent damage.  Even before the news began covering it, everyone at the conference (all of us civil and structural engineers) knew that New Orleans would flood.  We also knew that N’Awlins was going to suffer great loss of life, due to the lack of evacuations.  (The highest estimate was around 5% of the population– 15,000 or more.)

We all shook our heads– didn’t these people understand what was coming for them?  I had Opal pass right over my head in ’95– along with close hits from Georges in ’98, Allison in ’01, and Frances and Ivan in ’04.  Heck, Cindy in ’04 went into almost the same area…

(H/T Linoge for reminding me… like the news coverage hasn’t…)

* Doing the math, a 125 MPH wind produces 40 (125^2 * .00256) pounds a square foot of pressure, but a 175 MPH wind creates 78.4 (175^2 * .00256) PSF.  (What’s sad is that I had to look this up– I used to have to know these calculations by heart.)  At some point below 175 MPH, the wind would have turned the low-pitched roofs on the coat into wings, and ripped them from the buildings.  Notice that in footage and photos from hurricane zones, the roofs that survive have a moderate pitch– usually around 45 degrees.  This allows the wind to blow over them, but not so quickly as to produce lift… like a spoiler on an aircraft’s wing.  Sorry, I worked as a structural engineer, this is fascinating to me….

A country song and an old hymnal– connected to the casual observer by only a shared verse.  To a person who’s been in that dark moment when they saw the lonely valley in front of them, they become intertwined– one feeds on the other, and their meanings blend.  One is mourning the loss of loved ones to the grave, the other mourning the loss of a loved one to the wanderings of the heart.  The outcome of both losses is the same, though– “… we’ll never meet anymore / ‘Til we gather in heaven’s bright city / Far away on that beautiful shore…”

Note: If you haven’t already, go visit Lance’s YouTube channel. The man has a true gift for music.

It is unquestionably awesome that these two television shows exist [...] but of the gunblogs I keep track of, I seem to be the first mentioning this show… which means some PR weenie seriously screwed up.  — Linoge

It’s embarrassing because I had a draft post done about this and put it to the side.  I suck at that whole “fastest with the mostest” bit…  (cough)

So… erm… there are actually four shows– but it’s treated as one block– and if you watch the intro and exit bumpers for the segments, there are actually six different programs, but two are just short segments.  The four major shows are Practical Tactical, Because Lives Depend On It, What If, and Conceal & Carry School.  Each focuses on a different aspect of self-defense, with a bit of overlap.  For an example, Because Lives Depend On It covers tactics and skills, while What If covers a historical situation and walks the viewer through it, pointing out possible actions an armed citizen could take.

Conceal & Carry School is the interesting one, though.  Take a group of people with wildly varying skill levels, toss them in a classroom and training setting, and then watch them go through the course while covering their background.  It’s interesting watching the different personalities and skill levels mesh– one of the most brash individuals (a tattooed radio DJ) is also one of the slowest to catch up with a drill… which makes for interesting footage.  What’s great is that they have a decent variety of backgrounds, though– everything from the DJ to the Hispanic salon owner who’s been the victim of a hate crime.

But Linoge is right– these shows are promoted so poorly that it’s not funny.  Heck, I wouldn’t even know about The Don’t Be A Victim block if it wasn’t for the fact that I ran across it one Saturday morning.  The same goes for Outdoor Channel’s Wednesday Night At the Range or Sportsman’s Channel’s Lock and Load Thursdays.  Even worse is the fact that the listing for Lock And Load Thursdays no longer contains Modern Rifle Adventures… which was broken out from Guns & Ammo TV to give it more space.  Seriously, Dick Metcalf and J. Guthrie crossing the continent hunting with ARs… and it gets bumped?  Maybe if you had advertised the Allie Brock* episode, guys, this wouldn’t have to be so…

Which brings up the question of what makes a good show?  Most shooting shows have one or two of the things that bring in guys– guns and humor– but they need the third– women.   Some of the shows in these three blocks have great content, but they fall flat on the other two.  Some aren’t so great with regards to content, but they’ve learned that you have to lure the buck closer before you bag him.  Now, I’m not saying that a show would go so far as to have a smart, good looking young woman literally ride in on a horse to replace a co-host mid-season***, but you have to balance education with entertainment– think Bill Nye and Alton Brown.

Hey, better late than never, eh?

*Allie Brock was a guest on one of the episodes.  Elk hunting with ARs, teaching a young shooter… and did I mention she’s a 6′ tall blond?

** Yes, she literally rode in on a horse in her first episode.  In shorts.  Airgun sales probably went up 5% after that episode aired…  Heck, I haven’t fired an airgun in years and I still watch the show…

… but you’ll take what I dish out, and like it!

Between mowing, trying to finish cleaning*, cleaning the household blasters and feeding Patrol Donkey and Sentry Goose**, it’s hard to find the time to scribble.  But I do have to comment on this video.  My comment is– these people vote; maybe we should rethink that whole universal franchise thing?

* I have books everywhere.  Because I have no book-case built yet.  But to clean everything else, I need to move the books.

** The neighbor’s farm went belly-up, and he sold everything but one donkey and his geese.  Donkeys dislike being alone, so Jake promptly figured out how to get out and began wandering the area.  He makes an excellent night watchman with his partner, the sole surviving goose.  (Oddly enough, a Chinese goose, not a Cotton Patch goose, even though he does weed…  and Cotton Patch geese are rare now?)  Some people hire a security company– I use nature’s own intruder alarm.

1.  Do you like your adviser?

2.  Does your institution require reams of paperwork for admittance, graduation, and/or sending you a paper copy of your grades?

3.  Have you ever had to stop and check that you have not mistakenly wandered in to your local DMV?

4.  Does the class roster remind you of a shell game run by Superman?

5.  Are there more coffee shops on campus than cafeterias?

If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, you are in a state-run educational institution.  So as to save you the time and effort of completing your degree, simply remember this phrase: “¿Quiere papas fritas con eso?”

(One week before classes begin, they monkey with the schedule and drop a class required for my degree.  Luckily, it’ll be held in the spring semester– of 2012.  Now I have to figure out a replacement class that won’t screw up my commuting days…)

One of the things I love about having a DVR is the fact that falling asleep during a movie no longer means a big inconvenience.  I love my DVD player (and I now have an awesome stockpile of viewing material for it), but after a set amount of time, it turns itself off– which means I have to go through the whole process of turning it back on after I nod off.  Not to mention the fact that I don’t have a recliner in front of the home theater TV, and falling out of your chair ruins a nap.

Plus, with the quality of movies these days, it’s easier to stop and delete a DVR recording than burning a DVD.  More “green” too, but I can live with that…  So, what have I been dozing off to?

Snakes on a Plane

Why are these monkey-fightin’ snakes on this Monday-Friday plane?  (Thank you, network censors.  “Mile-high Club” scene?  Perfectly okay.  Money quote from the movie?  Not so much.)  Seriously, who uses snakes?  What’s worse is that every contrived plot twist after the titular snakes are released onto the titular airplane is so bad it’s not even funny– even for a B movie.

You have cold-blooded reptiles invading your aircraft?  Turn off the cabin heat and pressurization– the switches are right there in the cockpit with you.  Nope, no can do– oh, and that switch magically moves itself to the rear of the cargo deck and becomes a home electrical breaker box.  Also, in one scene, the 747 is seen to move at almost 5,000 knots.  That’s around Mach 7.3 (assuming that they’re at around 30,000 feet, which means that 4,960 kts / 678.1 = Mach 7.3) .  Then the plane is landed by a guy who flew a couple of PS2 flight sims.

Somewhere in between the hyper-sonic 747 and letting Little Gonzo Gamer have the controls, I’d have been looking for a parachute.  Sayanora, suckers!

Westworld

A show with everything… including Yul Brynner.  Robots?  Check?  Gunfights?  Check.  Sex?  Check.  Robot sex?  Check.  Robot gunfights?  Check.  Robot snakes?  Check.

The one thing that bothers me is the fact that the robots aren’t supposed to have a body temperature.  (It’s explained that the guns in Westworld cannot fire on a target that has body heat.)  So, what about the robot brothel girls?  Do they have a body temp, or is… okay, I don’t wanna know.

Hardwired

Decent lightweight sci-fi movie.  Only really notable part is the the gunfight where the main character is aided by the computer geeks in the form of a HUD broadcast directly into his brain.  I expected him to put on sunglasses and a trench coat and begin answering to “J. C.”

Rambo

John Rambo is an old, tired man.  Then the outsiders kick over the ant’s nest in his backyard.  John Rambo is now an angry, old, tired man.  Who happens to be more lethal than some strains of Ebola.  This gives me hope for The Expendables.

1984

Remember the despair you felt when you read the book?  Cube it.  I don’t know how the film crew found so many places to film– I didn’t know you could rent condemned buildings.

The War Wagon

Nobody puts John Wayne in jail… and lives to brag about it.  Best sales pitch I can make for the movie is the title scene.  Enough said.

Doomsday

Viral epidemic breaks out in Scotland.  British ki-nig-its seal off the country along Hadrian’s Wall.  Years later, they find out they sealed the only man who could cure the disease in Scotland.  Oops.  Time to send in a team… lead by a cross between Lara Croft and Big Boss.

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

Ah, classic movies.  For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble…  Great movie, from the beginning bank scene to the final gunfight.  Best moment– Butch trying to hold up a bank using a Spanish crib sheet.

Patton

Decent, but memorable for Patton, not the acting.  Most interesting scene is where Patton takes his staff to the site of the Battle of Zama and expounds on his belief that he was at the battle in a previous life.  Patton (who was a Christian) believed he had lived six previous lives– and was a soldier each time.  He even wrote a poem about his belief.

The Fifth Element

Take Die Hard With a Vengeance, add in equal parts Star Wars cantina scene and The Mummy, and you’ve got this movie.  Decent, but not great– good campy, sci-fi.

The Professional

Come for the gunfights, stay for the humor and sexual tension.  The director who made this movie wrote the script in 30 days and shot the movie in 90, so that he wouldn’t be out of work before he shot The Fifth Element.  So, all this guy needs to do is limit himself to 4 months a movie, and he’ll become an Academy Award factory…

Which is what I first said when I read this at Miguel’s:

And Catalonia bans bullfighting.

What… the… hell?  Spaniards… giving up the dance?  (shakes head)  Next you’ll tell me that the Irish have closed the Guinness factory.  One thing I want to point out from Miguel’s take, though.

Bulls back then were humongous animals with a bad attitude, specially the Miura line who probably killed more bullfighters than all other lines combined.

This is happening across the cattle world– bigger, more capable animals are being “bred down” to a level that their owners can handle.  As a personal example, back when we kept cows on the family farm, we had a Beefmaster/Black Angus mix bull we called “Little Man.”  People would see the bull, hear the name (or vice versa), and think it was a purposely ironic name.  It wasn’t– compared to his sire, Little Man was tiny.

At a mere 1,600 pounds.*  Standing on level ground, Little Man was eye level with the barbed wire on a fence.  He could also wrap his tongue around the electric fence wire and absorb the shock with no visible reaction.  His sire, however, broadsided a Chevy and put it into a pond– “no gasoline engines” means exactly that when you’re driving through a cattle pasture…

*Please note that it wasn’t my family that bred down Little Man.  We got him from the owner of his sire, “Big Man.”  (Also known as Brontosarco Rex… King Thunder-Flesh).  1,600 pounds is nothing to sniff at– his offspring tended to be 50% heavier than their mothers– but he was… small compared to his sire.