An Axe holster. I’ve seen some holsters made for around the ankle of a boot or on the belt, but never a back holster before.
Note: the ankle holster type cants the axe forward and out a bit, so the handle is forward of the knee. Just reach down, grip, pull, and the axe is in your hand, ready to go.
(H/T ENDO)
A while back, I posted a link to the Benny Hillifier. I’m going to prove– beyond a shadow of a doubt– that Benny Hill makes anything funnier.
Start the video and wait a few seconds. Okay, now go take a look at these hunters running from a bear. I rest my case.
I’m still wondering… between Picture #4 and Picture #5, the guy had to turn around with a bear right behind him… how did he do it?
Scene: Smalltown Post Office, interior, late afternoon. Two postal clerks (who look remarkably like Barney Frank and Liza Minnelli) are standing behind the counter. A loud TEENK, TEENK, TEENK noise is heard from outside. There is no direct view of what is causing the noise.
Barney Frank Simulacrum: There goes that guy on the SMART car again.
Liza Minnelli Simulacrum: Why does he always honk his horn like that?
BFS: I don’t know. It’s annoying, though.
LMS: Damn skippy.
From outside, an engine is heard revving up to full power. Both postal workers look at each other in surprise. Moments later, the SMART car bursts through the exterior wall sideways and comes to rest in front of the clerks. It is obvious that the SMART car has been T-boned by a larger vehicle.
SMART Car Driver: Ugggh…
In the hole the SMART car entered through, a figure is seen. The figure steps into the room and is revealed as A Dixie Carpetbagger, holding a fireman’s axe.
Dixie: Oh, I’m sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue. You were honkin’ your horn and wavin’ to everyone. [silence] What’s the matter? Oh, you were finished? Oh, well, allow me to retort!
The Carpetbagger then walks to the SMART car, and using only one hand, rips the driver’s door off with the fireman’s axe.
Dixie: What’s the 0-60 time of this vehicle?
SCD: What?
Dixie: [Slams axe into the hood and rips it off] Why do you always drive around honkin’ your horn and wavin’ at folks like a prom queen?
SCD: What?
Dixie: Look, I ain’t playin’ this game. I seen the movie, we both know how this goes. How ’bout you just fire up your Mattel car and get out of here while I’m comin’ down off my berserker rage?
The driver fires up his car and begins driving out of the hole his car entered through. As he passes The Carpetbagger, he honks his horn (TEENK) and speeds away. The Carpetbagger stands in hole and waves his axe at the (slowly) fleeing car.
Dixie: I’ll get you, Smart Car Driver… if it’s the last thing I do!
(Why yes, I had inspiration…)
First USCitizen tried it, then RobertaX, then Patrick, then Newbius… now I have to put myself to the test.
Notice the area in the red box.
Coffee shop run by girls in their underwear. How did I not hear of this before? Maybe I can convince them to open a branch in my area…
It seems as if I haven’t posted anything today. I blame the weather… first all stormy and stuff, then all hot and stuff, and then all so hot all you can do is odd stuff. (Really, Faulkner was right about hot weather driving Southern writers. Spend a few hours trying to do something outside, and the desire to be in front of a typewriter or keyboard shoots up drastically.)
So, in the spirit of humor and good will, I’ll let you in on a company I like– Ranger UP.
They have some awesome T-shirts, including the Valhalla*, Saint Michael, Patriot’s Day, Sons of Liberty, and the Spectre shirts. But the greatest of these is the You’ll Fight Tigers tee.
Why is that, you ask? Watch and see… (WARNING! LANGUAGE!)
I live near an area that the Rangers train in, and all I can say is… they’re tough. Not many people willingly go into the river swamps… but they do.
* My family took the long way to the U.S., with their longest stop being in Scandinavia. So I’m actually German – Nordic – Welsh – Scots – Irish. No wonder I can’t stand the British…
The past few days, I’ve been doing some short story writing, just brushing of the cobwebs, trying to polish my skills a bit. I’ve always been a better-than-decent story writer, and more than one of my English teachers/professors has encouraged me to submit my work… whether they actually liked my work or just wanted me to crash and burn, I don’t know… (chuckle) So, I apologize for running one short on posts for today.
After the last post, a spoon full of sugar.
The Portal 2 trailer.
Six organizations you didn’t know were Bad-ass.
The nine most bad-ass Bible verses.
And most importantly, The Benny Hillifier.
