Question: Is it possible to infect an animal and have them become a zombie?  Like, say a squirrel?  Because zombie squirrels give me the friggin’ heebie-jeebies.

It is unquestionably awesome that these two television shows exist [...] but of the gunblogs I keep track of, I seem to be the first mentioning this show… which means some PR weenie seriously screwed up.  — Linoge

It’s embarrassing because I had a draft post done about this and put it to the side.  I suck at that whole “fastest with the mostest” bit…  (cough)

So… erm… there are actually four shows– but it’s treated as one block– and if you watch the intro and exit bumpers for the segments, there are actually six different programs, but two are just short segments.  The four major shows are Practical Tactical, Because Lives Depend On It, What If, and Conceal & Carry School.  Each focuses on a different aspect of self-defense, with a bit of overlap.  For an example, Because Lives Depend On It covers tactics and skills, while What If covers a historical situation and walks the viewer through it, pointing out possible actions an armed citizen could take.

Conceal & Carry School is the interesting one, though.  Take a group of people with wildly varying skill levels, toss them in a classroom and training setting, and then watch them go through the course while covering their background.  It’s interesting watching the different personalities and skill levels mesh– one of the most brash individuals (a tattooed radio DJ) is also one of the slowest to catch up with a drill… which makes for interesting footage.  What’s great is that they have a decent variety of backgrounds, though– everything from the DJ to the Hispanic salon owner who’s been the victim of a hate crime.

But Linoge is right– these shows are promoted so poorly that it’s not funny.  Heck, I wouldn’t even know about The Don’t Be A Victim block if it wasn’t for the fact that I ran across it one Saturday morning.  The same goes for Outdoor Channel’s Wednesday Night At the Range or Sportsman’s Channel’s Lock and Load Thursdays.  Even worse is the fact that the listing for Lock And Load Thursdays no longer contains Modern Rifle Adventures… which was broken out from Guns & Ammo TV to give it more space.  Seriously, Dick Metcalf and J. Guthrie crossing the continent hunting with ARs… and it gets bumped?  Maybe if you had advertised the Allie Brock* episode, guys, this wouldn’t have to be so…

Which brings up the question of what makes a good show?  Most shooting shows have one or two of the things that bring in guys– guns and humor– but they need the third– women.   Some of the shows in these three blocks have great content, but they fall flat on the other two.  Some aren’t so great with regards to content, but they’ve learned that you have to lure the buck closer before you bag him.  Now, I’m not saying that a show would go so far as to have a smart, good looking young woman literally ride in on a horse to replace a co-host mid-season***, but you have to balance education with entertainment– think Bill Nye and Alton Brown.

Hey, better late than never, eh?

*Allie Brock was a guest on one of the episodes.  Elk hunting with ARs, teaching a young shooter… and did I mention she’s a 6′ tall blond?

** Yes, she literally rode in on a horse in her first episode.  In shorts.  Airgun sales probably went up 5% after that episode aired…  Heck, I haven’t fired an airgun in years and I still watch the show…

Plus, with the quality of movies these days, it’s easier to stop and delete a DVR recording than burning a DVD.  More “green” too, but I can live with that…  So, what have I been dozing off to?

Snakes on a Plane

Why are these monkey-fightin’ snakes on this Monday-Friday plane?  (Thank you, network censors.  “Mile-high Club” scene?  Perfectly okay.  Money quote from the movie?  Not so much.)  Seriously, who uses snakes?  What’s worse is that every contrived plot twist after the titular snakes are released onto the titular airplane is so bad it’s not even funny– even for a B movie.

You have cold-blooded reptiles invading your aircraft?  Turn off the cabin heat and pressurization– the switches are right there in the cockpit with you.  Nope, no can do– oh, and that switch magically moves itself to the rear of the cargo deck and becomes a home electrical breaker box.  Also, in one scene, the 747 is seen to move at almost 5,000 knots.  That’s around Mach 7.3 (assuming that they’re at around 30,000 feet, which means that 4,960 kts / 678.1 = Mach 7.3) .  Then the plane is landed by a guy who flew a couple of PS2 flight sims.

Somewhere in between the hyper-sonic 747 and letting Little Gonzo Gamer have the controls, I’d have been looking for a parachute.  Sayanora, suckers!

Westworld

A show with everything… including Yul Brynner.  Robots?  Check?  Gunfights?  Check.  Sex?  Check.  Robot sex?  Check.  Robot gunfights?  Check.  Robot snakes?  Check.

The one thing that bothers me is the fact that the robots aren’t supposed to have a body temperature.  (It’s explained that the guns in Westworld cannot fire on a target that has body heat.)  So, what about the robot brothel girls?  Do they have a body temp, or is… okay, I don’t wanna know.

Hardwired

Decent lightweight sci-fi movie.  Only really notable part is the the gunfight where the main character is aided by the computer geeks in the form of a HUD broadcast directly into his brain.  I expected him to put on sunglasses and a trench coat and begin answering to “J. C.”

Rambo

John Rambo is an old, tired man.  Then the outsiders kick over the ant’s nest in his backyard.  John Rambo is now an angry, old, tired man.  Who happens to be more lethal than some strains of Ebola.  This gives me hope for The Expendables.

1984

Remember the despair you felt when you read the book?  Cube it.  I don’t know how the film crew found so many places to film– I didn’t know you could rent condemned buildings.

The War Wagon

Nobody puts John Wayne in jail… and lives to brag about it.  Best sales pitch I can make for the movie is the title scene.  Enough said.

Doomsday

Viral epidemic breaks out in Scotland.  British ki-nig-its seal off the country along Hadrian’s Wall.  Years later, they find out they sealed the only man who could cure the disease in Scotland.  Oops.  Time to send in a team… lead by a cross between Lara Croft and Big Boss.

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

Ah, classic movies.  For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble…  Great movie, from the beginning bank scene to the final gunfight.  Best moment– Butch trying to hold up a bank using a Spanish crib sheet.

Patton

Decent, but memorable for Patton, not the acting.  Most interesting scene is where Patton takes his staff to the site of the Battle of Zama and expounds on his belief that he was at the battle in a previous life.  Patton (who was a Christian) believed he had lived six previous lives– and was a soldier each time.  He even wrote a poem about his belief.

The Fifth Element

Take Die Hard With a Vengeance, add in equal parts Star Wars cantina scene and The Mummy, and you’ve got this movie.  Decent, but not great– good campy, sci-fi.

The Professional

Come for the gunfights, stay for the humor and sexual tension.  The director who made this movie wrote the script in 30 days and shot the movie in 90, so that he wouldn’t be out of work before he shot The Fifth Element.  So, all this guy needs to do is limit himself to 4 months a movie, and he’ll become an Academy Award factory…

Overall, it was enjoyable for the sheer carnage, watching those untrained in self-defense perish*,  and the cheesecake (even though she magically found her clothes again in the midst of the horror and carnage).  One pinkie up.

* At one point, a woman is getting off late at night, hears the chef screaming bloody murder in the kitchen, and calmly and totally Condition White walks right into two Aliens.  She then sits down and waits for the end, surrounded by knives and stainless steel.  Oh, and at one point a hunter uses the butt of his rifle to tap on something, thereby pointing the muzzle right at his own face.

Via a comment on another website, I found Lance Truscott Morrison– a Deputy Sheriff who does music.  Pretty good stuff.

The Portal 2 trailer.

Six organizations you didn’t know were Bad-ass.

The nine most bad-ass Bible verses.

And most importantly, The Benny Hillifier.

The best line– “Disappear, scumbags!”  (chuckle)

(H/T ENDO)

Look, if Obama buys himself a white horse, I’m heading to the mountains.  And don’t even say anything to stop me.  “You even say, ‘huh’ and you’ll be talkin’ to yourself…cause I’ll be gone!”*

*I’ve been wanting to use that quote for a long time.

1- Finally had a failure with my Mossberg 702.  With a Remington Golden bullet.  Curse you, Tam, for jinxing me!  This is the first RGB I’ve had fail.  Meanwhile, the high-end CBee has been nothing but trouble.  My Mossberg’s like me– it likes to eat simple, hardy and cheap.

2- MikeB’s at it again.  At this point, the only use MikeB and the rest of his little playgroup have is that every time they begin spewing their crap, gun bloggers show up to correct them… which leads to me finding new gun bloggers.  Thanks, Sparky!**

3-If you aren’t already, watch Justified.  I hope this one doesn’t get killed off…

* His name is Mr. (prophet we’re not supposed to draw) (honorific of Umar) (religion of peace).  No, I’m not making that up.

** I wonder why Sparky and the rest don’t ever mess with Tam?  Hmm…