A Dixie Carpetbagger

Yesterday morning, I had to go in early (oh so very early) so that my team and I could finish up the prep work for our presentation.  (Propose and do the paperwork for a business in the area, project your market, and do estimated pro-formas for your first year.)   I left the house so early, in fact, that even the fast food joints were closed, and there was no coffee left in the coffeepot when I left the house, so… hundred mile drive with no java.  Cue Cranky Dixie transitioning into Utter Asshole Dixie.

Then something happened.  One of the local radio stations starts the day by having a schoolkid recite the Pledge, and then playing The Star Spangled Banner.  On the very first note of the anthem, the Sun broke through the clouds and began the day.  Cranky Dixie quickly became Decently Pleasant Dixie, and the day became okay.

Still, we had three and a half hours to ready ourselves for a presentation and the (guaranteed) grilling from our professor.  One member had been in Orlando for the weekend (and we hadn’t gotten in touch with her), one had to make a side trip, so I and the two other guys in the group madly dashed through the prep work, got PowerPoint ready, and went over our talking points.  The rest of the group got there, we finished everything up, caught up on the weekend happenings, and rushed over to our class.

Professor, we who are about to fail salute thee!

You get 20 minutes, total.  Our group ran 19:59– no questions for us, which seemed to upset our prof… or so the evil glance he gave us as he walked out of class would say.  (Also, he’s got a poker face to be proud of– he was totally impassive– while he was watching the presentation.  “… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.”)  So, hopefully he was just upset at us not opening up our soft underbellies…

Side note: this group is essentially The Libertarian Group.  Our first idea for a business was essentially Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms… with the possibility of adding Sex, Drugs, and Rock n’ Roll to the mix.  (We actually went with a burger joint catering to college students.  Much easier, much less likely to get us run out of class.)  However, even we draw the line at what happened to our female team-mate this weekend– she drove some friends to (and from) Orlando on a Universal Studios trip, for which they repaid her by letting her stay in the car while they went to a strip club.  Guys, be gentlemen– share the driving, pay for the gas, and don’t take her to a gorram strip club…

On top of all the stuff I’m having to deal with– teachers who think communication is a dirty word, slacking team-mates on class projects, and commuting to and from class… my electronics have rebelled on me.  Last week, my DVR crapped out on me, and yesterday the PC decided to come down with the digital Ebola.

8 hours later, it was working perfectly, but I was a day behind.  Now, I’m trying to wrangle team-mates (look, the reason we have a discussion board is for us to discuss stuff there… why are you emailing me this?), homework (okay, you’re asking me to do X, and you haven’t taught me to do X yet…) and a few other things… (seriously, I don’t disturb my neighbors, so why the frak are they driving 4 wheelers in circles around my house?)

Part of me wants to write so badly.  We have so many things coming up that are so monumental– the elections, news items, just the way the world is– but when I find the time, I find that my attitude is more “ARGH ANGRY HATE-HATE RAGE” than “Yes, well, let’s discuss this bit of news, shall we?”  Hopefully, I can clear my plate a bit (ha, ha, ha-ha, hah-ha-ha-ha-ha), and write some of my usual drivel soon.

Um, yeah, you see, my “easy” classes are kicking my butt.  On the funny note, I just used my new-but-now-well-used Turabian guide to cite a teacher’s lecture in a report… to that teacher.

[Insert "Dat's the Chicago way" joke here.]

Yes, I’m still alive (kinda, sorta, okay I just check my pulse to make sure).  Unfortunately, the institution of my educational improvement is experiencing a wave of sickness, leaving me the only functioning member of three different class groups I belong to.  So, I’ve been doing a lot of writing, just not here.

Oh, and here’s a completely unrelated but awesome music video via MacBourne:

Just on a treadmill… that keeps going and going and going…

Lately, I’ve found myself saying “Self, there’s no way things could get any more surreal.”  Then things get more surreal, and Self simply shrugs his shoulders.  Lessons to learn?  One, talking to yourself isn’t a great sign of mental stability.  Two, when life hands you apples, make apple juice.

Warning: naughty, naughty language warning.  Viewer discretion is at the viewer’s discretion.

If you don’t recognize the group that did it, I present you with the video that made the rounds a while back.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on some Zeppelin and eat cheddar cheese.

The reason I’ve had a time getting posts up is that the Fall semester has started– and for the first time in… a long time, I have more than one physical class.  And, since my new educational institution doesn’t have the same common sense the old one did*, I’ve been on negative time.

*My old college was set up with a commons surrounded by a large group of class buildings, with parking lots surrounding all these, a ring road feeding the parking lots, then auxiliary buildings around the outside of the ring road.  The new one is a hodgepodge of lots, a trolley system that makes no sense (wait, there’s no trolley stop anywhere near Building XYZ, why is that lot restricted to Resident only?), and a sheer mass of red tape.

… but you’ll take what I dish out, and like it!

Between mowing, trying to finish cleaning*, cleaning the household blasters and feeding Patrol Donkey and Sentry Goose**, it’s hard to find the time to scribble.  But I do have to comment on this video.  My comment is– these people vote; maybe we should rethink that whole universal franchise thing?

* I have books everywhere.  Because I have no book-case built yet.  But to clean everything else, I need to move the books.

** The neighbor’s farm went belly-up, and he sold everything but one donkey and his geese.  Donkeys dislike being alone, so Jake promptly figured out how to get out and began wandering the area.  He makes an excellent night watchman with his partner, the sole surviving goose.  (Oddly enough, a Chinese goose, not a Cotton Patch goose, even though he does weed…  and Cotton Patch geese are rare now?)  Some people hire a security company– I use nature’s own intruder alarm.

Well, well, it’s my blogiversary…  one year, today.  Well, one year tomorrow by the date, but I first posted 52 weeks ago…

Oh, and to my NRA handlers– I’m still waiting for my truckloads of cash.

From Newbius:

What is the average length of time that a normal person should be expected to perform an unpleasant job function, without receiving any positive feedback or additional monetary motivation upon successful completion of the taskings?

Well, for me, it was over three years.  But it I had to do it over again?  I would have told my employer where he could place my job after the first 11 month stint.  (Worked for him for 11 months, worked for myself, then came back– after my former supervisor begged me– for two years and a few months.)  The job was (quite literally) Hell with fluorescent lights.

Why is Newbius’ question timely?  Because it was a year ago Friday that I told my employer that I wouldn’t be in on Monday– or any day after that, for that matter.

That means that Friday is my blogiversary…